The First Time Suicide Touched My Life
I remember it, even now, 20 years later, as clearly as if it happened yesterday.
It was a morning during my college years when I got a text from a high school friend. The message was short and brought me to my knees: One of our classmates, someone we had grown up with, laughed with, shared memories with, had died by suicide.
I still get choked up recounting it. Even now, I feel chills remembering exactly where I was when I read that message. We hadn’t been close in recent years, as often happens with high school friends. Life moved on, and we’d drifted apart. But in that moment, none of that mattered.
A million memories flashed through my mind.. school dances, hallway conversations, inside jokes, the version of him that was so full of life. And then the crushing realization: He was gone. He was my age. And he had chosen to end his life.
There are no words to describe how deeply my heart ached—for him, for his family, for the entire community. He came from a small town, and his death shook everyone.
The Truth About Suicide’s Impact
This is just one story, my first personal experience with suicide, but sadly, it wasn’t my last.
Since then, I’ve watched family members, friends, and clients mourn and suffer the heavy and complicated grief that suicide leaves behind.
Something I often hear from clients who battle suicidal thoughts is, “No one will miss me.” “People will get over it.”
Let me be clear, that is not true. The people left behind don’t “get over it.” They live with it. They carry it. And the grief that comes from suicide is like no other. It's layered, complicated, and often filled with unanswered questions.
To Those Who Are Grieving
If you’ve lost someone to suicide, I see you. There are no perfect words to soften the blow or fix the ache. Grief, especially this kind, is messy and nonlinear. It can feel isolating. Confusing. Angering. Shattering. But please know this: You are not alone. Your pain is valid. Your memories are sacred. And it’s okay to grieve in your own way, for as long as you need to.
To Those Who Are Struggling
If who have ever believed the lie that your absence wouldn’t matter, I promise you—it would. Your life impacts more people than you know. Your story isn't over. And help is out there. Please reach out. There is hope. There is help. You are not a burden.
In Loving Memory
That classmate, though gone, is still remembered. His story stays with me. It shaped the way I see the world, and it reminds me how fragile and precious life is.
So many of us walk around carrying invisible wounds. Let’s be gentle with one another. Let’s check in, even when someone seems fine. Let’s keep talking about mental health and suicide. Not just after tragedy, but every day.
Because you never know whose life you might help save.